Even Zod Can't Stand Lois & That's a Good Thing
by TotallyCool
Summary: What will happen if, instead of Lex, Lois becomes the Vessel of Zod?..... A little hint of CLOIS. R&R please...


Seriously, all my friends are gonna freak out if they find me writing romance fic on the net...actually, i meant to do this as a humor fic but somehow it ended with a little hint of romance...but no kissing or anything..although, with enough REVIEWS, i can make them kiss..wink..

SUMMARY: Even Zod can't stand Lois Lane. And you may need to use your own imagination to fill in what happen between the dialogues..coz I'm just not good at describing stuffs…

Rated T because Zod is an evil alien and he swears a lot.

DISCLAIMER: They didn't grant my wish to own Smallville. Apparently they said, if they give me that show, I'll cause a chaos to the plot..and I'll never stop wishing to own Bones, NCIS, Gilmore Girls and many more...

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_What is this weird feeling? I don't feel like myself. I'm certainly not acting like myself. What am I doing in Lex's mansion? _

_Who is this talking inside me? Is it her? That's impossible! Ah! Just ignore it. Concentrate on my mission to destroy the human population..and conquer the Earth..hahahaha.. _

_Hey! Who are you? I can hear you…you know. What's with that evil laugh? Did you just said…destroy the human population? Who the hell you think you are?! Are you one of those lunatics from Belle Reve? I don't know how you got in here..but you better move your ass fast before I kick it back to Belle Reve! _

_Go ahead. But I'm afraid you're just gonna end up kicking your own butt (not that I think it's physically possible, pretty much like licking your own elbow). I suppose by now, you're fully aware of the situation._

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"You have to kill her, Kal-El. That's the only way."

"What? No! I'm not gonna kill Lois." _Yes, sometimes she's kind of annoying with those witty sarcasms..and yes I admit sometimes I did intent to kill her..but come on..that's just my sense of humor speaking.. _

"She's not Lois anymore. It's Zod now. Unless you want to witness the extinction of the human race..you have to kill her."

"No, I'm not gonna listen to you anymore! And there's no way I'm killing anyone..especially Lois. I'm gonna find another way to solve all these…the Earth's way."

"You don't understand Kal-El. There's no other way. Zod is…"

"Shut up! Talk to the hand!" _I'm getting out of here. There's no way I'm gonna listen to this schematic Kryptonian voice ever again._

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_Okay..let see..what this 'Destroy The World in 5 Minutes Manual' says about spreading this deadly computer virus. First, turn on the main computer…then… _

_Huh..what a shock? You even brought the manual. Did they even have an interview for this job? because…seriously, I'm a better candidate then you…at least, I don't need to bring that 'Destroy the World for Dummies' thing. _

_Shut up, Bitch! What was the 'Brainiac' thinking when he recommends this body for my vessel? I should have picked my own vessel from that online catalog. _

_Yeah..dude..you need the password to log in..didn't your manual said that? Jeez..I don't know criminal freaks are this stupid… _

_Can she be more annoying than this! Seriously, someone is gonna pay for this…Okay..ignore her! Now, what's the password that artifial intelligent 'Brainiac' gave me for this computer…mmm..aaa… _

_Slow memory too..huh…no surprise there..I guess.. _

_Ahh! If only I could just cover my ears and not hear her voice again! Ha..the password..I remember it now… _

_Yeah..it's about time if you plan to spread the pain to the world by next month!... _

_Grrr…This sarcastic bitch! okay..I just have to relax…the password is …..'apocalypto' _

_That's not how you spell 'apocalypto'. Didn't you go to school? _

_What? This is the right spelling…I've seen it in Mel Gibson's movie… _

_You believe all those Hollywood people...they spelled 'happiness' wrong...you know..in case you missed 'The Pursuit of Happyness' since you've been so busy planning this evil plan. _

_Whatever! I don't trust you! _

_Well, suit yourself. In case you forget, the virus is gonna self-destruct once you enter the wrong password. And I don't think you're smart enough to create another one. I bet you don't even know what C++ means.. You don't trust me…fine. I got nothing to lose here… _

_Yeah..except your life….sooner or later..you're gonna be dead…once I take fully control of your body.. _

_And when is that, mister? Does it say in your manual there?.Ooo I can't wait… _

_Jeez…I never met anyone so sarcastic before! Ahh..shut up! You drive me crazy!... _

_Come on, smarty pant..everyone knows that's not how you spell 'apocalypto'…there's an 'e' at the end… let me spell it for you..A-P-O-C-A-L-Y-P-T-O-E..trust me, I'm the journalist here…who are you?..A man trapped in a woman's body? _

_Will you just shut up and let me think! _

_Fine! Don't use my brain..I don't want to get involve in any of your stupidity…I'd like to keep my brain smart. _

_Ahh!!! I can't stand you anymore!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! _

_Jeez..for a bad guy, you're pretty emotional…Did daddy ignore you when you were 6?... _

_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! _

_Yeah…keep screaming..like that's gonna solve your problem…I thought you have a world to destroy…I guess we can forget about that..now that you're screaming like a baby…Man, you're such an embarrassment to the criminal society… _

_For the millionth time…shut up! shut up! shut up! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I can't stand you!!! It's killing me! You're just INSUFFERABLE!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_Hello..hello..are you still there..hellooo..anybody home?... Hmmm..that's weird…he's gone…_

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"Lois?...Lois…is that you?"

"Of course it's me, Smallville. Nice of you to finally show up."

"Are you okay?..I was worried about you. I thought I was going to lose you."

"Woah..easy with the hug, farmboy. Not too tight..I'm trying to breathe here."

"But..how did you escape?..Where's Zod?"

"Zod? That's his name?..huh..stupid guy with a weird name..that's not the first time."

"Where's Zod?"

"Mmmh..I don't know..I guess, he just vanished into thin air after screaming like a maniac."

"You mean, he's dead?"

"Yeah..I suppose you can say that too. What's with that weird knife in your hand?"

"Well, I was going to save you...from him...from Zod."

"Don't sweat it, Smallville. I got it all under control."

"I'm still confused here..how did you..I mean what did you do to him?"

"Nothing..I was just trying to correct his spelling. A-P-O-C-A-L-Y-P-T-O-E. That's how you spell it, right?"

"Mmm..no, I don't think so, Lois. There's no 'e' at the end."

"Really?..hah..my brain must be influenced by his stupid brain then. I always got everything right."

"Yeah..everybody knows that."

"What's with that smile, Smallville? You don't think I'm smart enough to spell that word?"

"No, no…I think you're the smartest woman in the world. I mean…who else managed to kill Zod like you did."

"Good..everyone should better kiss my ass for the rest of the year now…I just save the world from being destroyed by a crazy meteor freak."

_Meteor freak?...I guess she didn't know who Zod really was…and I guess it's better that way. I'll just keep this secret together will all the other secrets I didn't tell her. If there's a bank for keeping secrets, I'll be earning a lot of interest right now._

_But I'm still puzzled here..how did she manage to kill him? Don't tell me Lois Lane's sarcasm just killed an evil alien..coz..that's just…._

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Ok, I admit, sometimes I have a tendency to confuse people in my writing…it makes me feel smarter..haha..just kidding..Btw, if you've read until here and still confused what's going on in the story, let me provide you with a little explanation: 

Somehow, instead of Lex, it was Lois who became the Vessel for Zod..that means Zod is in Lois' body. In the first part of the story, it's the inner dialogue between Lois and Zod, followed by Jor-El telling Clark to kill Lois to save the world…and the story continues…

**P/S: So, how about a short review?...That will definitely makes my day ;)**


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